HOPE

May 2nd 2012: Hope – Wish – And A Prayer!!

Hello Traders,

After yesterday’s trading I was believe it or not cautious coming into trading today.  I knew I was up, and I also knew I had just wired out $570 out of my trading account.

So why did I have a minor meltdown on my trading day?  I will tell you why … I am on fumes here … trying to make something from nothing … to trade for enough money to pay the bills and still grow the account.

HOPE

HOPE

I can blame everyone around … but the blame falls on my shoulders alone.  I have driven myself into this situation and I am going ‘crazy’ trying to work my way out of it.  This has been and continues to be the hardest thing I have done in my life.

To know how to trade … but do I have enough time … will I lose my house?  Will I have enough money to keep the creditors at bay?  I am on medicine for anxiety and depression … and I have my moments where the world seems to come crashing in on me.

To have all this knowledge … and the price it cost to attain it … I would not suggest trading to anyone that asks me.  I have known what it is like to live in plenty, and I know what it is like to live in desperation.

Be desperate to make money in trading is not one of the things that is suggested to be healthy as an individual … but here I stand.  In the rock and the hard place, I have placed my family and myself into.  There is no one knocking on my door to hire me … and why would they … I am half crazy.  I am spent … I can feel my life force leaving and ebbing away from me …

I didn’t lose that much money today … but after the great trading day yesterday to fall into the same old trap once again … it is so overwhelming and frustrating.  I can’t afford to take time off … because there is nothing … I am half the person I used to be … I am spent and worn out …

This is what my trading day was like I know better than to trade into a trading range that has no movement.

Especially, after a big movement the day before – the markets tend to rest more times than not.

I am looking for a movement to get back to the 50 Bar MA on the Daily Chart and move up through, but there is no momentum.

The HVS SKY bars have been to the LONG side, but no movement.

My opening trade was the best and then perhaps a reversal trade – but – trading into the CLOSE with no movement is simply trading on

WISH

WISH

A HOPE – A WISH – AND A PRAYER!!

Where is Ol MO today?  Not here because it is not here … I am wishing instead of trading …

This trading day showed an HVS SKY that failed and a breakout short that woulda/coulda/shoulda have been closed out at BREAKEVEN.  Today was a breakeven trading day at best and I should have taken my ball and gone home on the trading day!!

This was a trading day I played ‘the fool’ giving up profit I had no business doing.

Hopefully, the last 30 minutes will see a quick move up into the close of trading without taking me out.

Don’t beat yourself up too much, you are the same trader that won big yesterday you could still possibly win this trading day.

It is TOO EASY to lose MONEY STOP the STUPID TRADING or you will be in the POOR and BROKE House!!

For as good as I managed my trading yesterday – I was a poor manager of my trading day today.

I am quite certain I would have kept trading for 100 ticks loss on the trading day.

I was up 1 tick then down 16 ticks – why did I not listen to my head telling me this is a non-trending market?

I wanted to reach the New Trading Account High and get money out of my trading account.

This turned into a losing trading day that never should have been I was confident I could make up the trade loss so I continued to trade even though I knew in my heart the market was not going to move today.

I should have took my gain of Tuesday and waited for Friday to trade again – especially when the red report on the trading day showed nothing!!

I am having one of my ‘crazy’ moments today.  Here is the problem I just made a new trading account high the day prior on May 1st.  How do you get everything you need to make with all the pressure that trading brings on?

I found myself once again taking 8 trades but losing overall on the trading day.  My trading is only as good as I trade on days that trend.  And I should stand aside on days that do not trend.

Today the Inventory Report was right on with no surprise – the market moved slightly up to the Pivot Point and then moved basically sideways for the rest of the trading day.

My gut said to stand aside but we need money and I know this is a bad combination to be a trader.

PRAY

PRAY

I am so FRUSTRATED with myself and where I have placed my family into … we are living on fumes!!

If I had $10,000 right now would this make a difference or simply prolong the torture?

An extra $2,000 per month coming in is what I need to make every month, to take the pressure off my trading.  So around $24,000 to $30,000, this is not a lot … but this is what is needed at minimum to pay the mortgage, and the 4 walls that Dave Ramsey talks about

Where do I need my trading account balance to be to comfortably make $2,000 per month with no pressure?

Where is this comfort level STAB located??

May 2nd, 2012:  Trading Statement

David

P.S.  I lost 47 ticks on 8 trades today … net loss $518.00.  I also wired out $570.00 with a $25 wire fee.

About The Author

David M. Knight

I am a 30 Year Futures and Commodities Trading Veteran. In addition, I enjoy games of skill and chance like: poker, craps, blackjack and roulette. During my professional career, I have developed and implemented successful trading strategies and methods; along with winning systems in games of skill and chance. Join with me on our mutual journey together.

  • Mark says:

    hang in there. Follow your plan. Its solid ,you know it. Always PRAY for discipline before you begin.

  • TradeCraze says:

    Compounded my trading loss today … fell back into some of my old traps. Time to regroup.

  • paolo says:

    hi david
    as long as a failure depends on your mistakes is something good,
    you can learn from your mistakes and avoid them in the future and you’re going to be a better person/trader in life.
    1) stop trading CL for the moment (2 points daily trading ES or 8 ticks on 6E makes-up 2k $/month with only 1 car)
    2)when you become confident and after having growth your account for at least 4 months start trading cl or gc as you want
    3) re-read well what you wrote e.g.: “I wanted to reach the New Trading Account High and get money out of my trading account.”
    no-one really cares what you want or what I want or someone else wants, first rule have an idea where the market could head but be ready to change your opinion when the market tells you that.
    second rule: when you have an expectation (expecially after a winning day) don’t trade and take the day off.
    trading is like fishing: be ready and prepare your spot, have patience to wait and let the fishes come to you.
    remember: the more you move the less fishes you fish.
    just my 2 cents
    see ya
    paolo
    ps: tomorrow take the day off and start again on monday

  • TradeCraze says:

    Thanks for the message. I don’t like the ES or any of the other markets to trade. CL is the one I enjoy trading … just because I had a two day setback doesn’t mean the end of the line. I just need to refocus and take some time off.

    I have a whole trading method including pulling money out at key points that I do.

    When I veer off the path, then I let the other stuff happen. I definitely appreciate the comments. It seems to me I have one of the 2 day setbacks every year … the key now is not to have another for the rest of the year.

    I place to much pressure on myself to trade. My trading plan and strategy or sound … it is the operator that is not. After all, I was up almost $4,000 in 2 months before I gave into the inner demons.

    You are right about taking time off … but I will not change markets. This is the one I know and I will live or die trading it. I am not comfortable in any other market. I have tried to switch it up in the past but if you have not paid attention to a market as a day trader … I am not one that can simply just jump into another market.

    CL has been friendly to me … I have just experience a minor setback. Back to the drawing board … correct the mental errors … and look for improvements to my way of trading to come back stronger.

    This is how I do things.

    David